Student - Anonymous
In a nutshell, COVID-19 has turned my world upside down. While I had been keeping up with everything going on in the world regarding this virus, it wasn’t until March 16th that things started to affect me personally. I remember receiving an email from my school announcing that almost everything on campus was closing, including the residence halls. I don’t remember much after that–I honestly think I just shut down.
While my friends and classmates were excited to have classes be cancelled and be able to go back home for a little bit (which later turned into an indefinite period of time), I was nervous and scared. I work an on campus job, which has served as my sole income to support myself. In one email, my financial and mental stability was taken away from me. My workplace is now closed until April 7th (at the least), and I have no source of income for the next few weeks. And despite not having a job, I still have bills to pay.
While I am lucky enough to still be able to live on campus, everything else in my life is still in a state of uncertainty. With everything going on, especially the social distancing and self isolation, my depression has only gotten worse. Constantly stressing about money probably isn’t helping, either. COVID-19 has created a strong sense of anxiety and lethargy within me. This virus has taken away a lot of my security, almost all the on campus resources I used to get by (including mental health services), and has kept me from being able to see my loved ones due to fear of potential transmission of the disease. I’m not going to lie, I’m not doing well at all. I barely leave bed, I don’t eat, and I have no hope for the future. I think it’ll be a while until I feel okay again.
But, I’m trying my best to take it day by day. I’ve started to get out of bed more often and try to do work, which is more than I could ask from myself at this time. I’ve started looking into filing for unemployment insurance, have reached out to different people on campus for support, and try to FaceTime my family often to try to gain a sense of control regarding everything that is going on. I’m not going to survive if I keep thinking I can figure this out alone, because I can’t. And that’s why I’ve allowed myself to be vulnerable–to my professors, to my bosses, to my friends–and accept support. The support and understanding that my professors, bosses, friends and family are giving me is the main thing that continues to motivate me to keep looking for resources and reach out for support during this time.
I’m not doing okay, but I know I’m not alone in my struggle. And while things aren’t going in anyone’s favor right now, all we can do is try our best and know that eventually things will pass.